These frozen wastes may be a lot like home for Hammig or Rika, but I miss the greens of the forests and golds of my home. Vanya too. My newest companion doesn’t have that home sickness, but considering he’s a god-born Hell Horse, gifted to me by Tempus and Oblivion in the flesh, I’m not surprised.
Yeah, and not only that, but in addition to the gods that had previously recognized me as a true Ranger despite being a halfling, I now have a LOT more! Including Tempus, Liad, Lobo, the Dick, Mistra, Messingwary… Hell, even Hammig’s god acknowledged me! …So did Creena. Which I’m not going to think about. And Osrika, which I’m kind of surprised about. I mean, I know Creena’s been across multiple worlds and had adventures and stuff before she joined up with us, so I’m sure somewhere someone believes in her, but Rika?
…I bet it’s a Sven. It HAS to be.
Guess I should back things up a bit, huh? Well, we’ve been trying to find the source of a sudden influx of leviathans in the oceans of our world, and waaaaaay down south, we find another uncharted continent, a frozen waste without a name. So of course, when something falls from the sky and crashes inland, we head off to investigate, mostly with Hammig and Drace drooling over the thought of more Star Metal.
After a few days of slow going through the harsh terrain, we are met by tough woman who takes Brenna, Warl, me, and Vanya to meet with someone on account of we’re Rangers, and our animals are trustworthy, ‘cause we’re awesome.
Turns out that someone was a god I’d never heard of called Messingwary. He’s a mighty god of Hunters, and once he had approved of our mission, we retrieved the rest of our party, had some good food, and then met the Tuskers.
We’ve met and fought some big people before, but these Tuskers are HUGE. They remind me of my home tribe a bit, but more reserved, and slower to make decisions. They did, after some questions and deliberation, let us continue on our journey to find whatever fell from the sky, and so we pressed on.
One night… Well, I’m pretty sure it was night. The sun never sets here, so it’s hard to really tell what time of day it is. Something massive landed close our camp, which turned out to be Chaos golems. Vanya and I took to the sky when we were getting ready to continue on, and it turned out the golems were making an easy path for us, pushing the heavy snow out of our way, so I directed the party over and we followed in their wake, though more slowly since we get tired and they don’t.
Anyway, we found a splatter of barely identifiable offworlders who’d run afoul of the Chaos Golems, and notified the Gods because like, everything they had was supposed to be not allowed on this world, so we got to oloot the hammers, and destroy the contraband, and then Hammig levitated into the Sky to see if he could find their home ship.
Turns out, it was pretty close, so with Rusty’s help we managed to make our way over to it. The Ogre Mam-moth was pretty abandoned, and so we explored it trying to find clues. Then Hammig started a fight with a massive hook-handed orc, and then spent most of that fight hanging off the hook until the guy died, which was fun. Once the ship had been cleared and explored, we freed the slaves, called on the Gods AGAIN because there was a LOT of contraband AND a soulforge, and then Hammig got to use the Pocket Full of Sunshine that Creena gave him to destroy all of the contraband.
Anyway, the slaves now had a grounded ship fortress as a museum or conservatory or whatever, and we sent the creepy healing pod thing to Olympia (after everyone who needed it had been through) so we kitted up with some new anti-Chaos gear, took two of the fancy magic sleds and got back on the path of the Golems.
And then we found a road block which turned out to be brownies. After a snowball fight and lunch, and warning that the golems explode if you kill them wrong, we got back on the road, only to fight some Snow Kobolds not too long after. That was fun! Vanya and I are getting better at fighting together.
Oh, I don’t remember when, but we did find a destroyed Tusker community, wiped out by whatever crashed to the ground. We took a few items that seemed important to pass along to the Tuskers, but I can’t remember if that was before or after the brownies.
Anyway, we eventually caught up with the Golems and found out what crashed to the ground wasn’t star metal like Hammig and Drace wanted, but a giant Leviathan egg, that the Golems (turns out there was a lot of them) were trying to crack open. So we all immediately run in and fight the golems. I took one with Vanya, easily defeating it without a scratch, while Hammig, Reeves, Brenna, and Nazeer basically couldn’t do anything without me. Anyway, they EVENTUALLY got theirs down, and so Vanya and I took to the skies again to intercept the bossman’s magic sled so I could get some order bombs so that Hammig’s sled would be less useless.
The second half of the battle went a little better. I mean, we killed the golems faster, even the one that turned into a giant stuffed racoon toy monster that Hammig set on fire, but Creena and Nazeer both got taken out of the fight. Pfft. These golems weren’t even tough, just shows how useless everyone is without me.
So anyway, long story short, we get back to the Tuskers with a heroes welcome, ‘cause we just saved their lives and everything, ’cause I’m awesome, and as part of our service to them, we got inducted into their tribe, which is one of the biggest honors I’ve had. The Tuskers are an awesome warrior tribe, and to be accepted by them like that is a point of pride that my own family now shares through my accomplishments.
My REAL family, not my worthless dad or my half-sister.
Anyway, that’s where I was gifted Spit Fire, which I think I owe Brenna for. I also owe Tempus a favor, so that should be fun.
I uh… Also owe Oblivion a favor… See, I kind of… In the excitement of battle and rush to save the world and everything, forgot to pick up my Klink that Gnorma gave me, until we were days of travel away and back with the Tuskers. And worse, the Gods were going to do something to the Leviathan egg that was gonna apparently wipe out everything in the area, including my Klink, so Oblivion took me on a shortcut through the Abyss to go retrieve it before all that happened.
It… The first time wasn’t so bad. Like, it was bad. I ain’t scared of ANYTHING I’ve fought or dealt with, you can’t be scared when you’re as awesome as I am. But… I was scared, okay? I’ve never been that scared, ever. I toughed it out though, and got my Klink just fine. Going back… The things I saw? I… Lost. You can laugh all you want, I’ll cut your fucking toes off in your sleep.
Apparently Liad passed out when he went on the same trip, so at least I didn’t bitch out like he did, and HE is a god, so fuck you.
I slept in the stables that night, I was not up for company.
Anyway, on our way back to our ship, we saw a HUGE 12 legged Leviathan, walking around chaos-ing up the place, so our mages and Kitty and me killed it before it could do anything or get in range for anyone else, and now we’re waiting for our boat.
That’s where we are now, anyway. OH! I need to get Hammig to make Spit Fire some fucking awesome armor, as properly fitting of the bad-ass hell horse that he is, because he’s fucking awesome like Vanya and me.