The Wanderings of the Brigade of Fire and Steel

What Happened?

What happened last night? Did I miss something? Also why is my mouth slimy? Really? What happened? Rika is inspecting me with such intensity. She seems worried. Also Creena was worried… that scares me a bit. Did Kurt try something? He was coming to as well.

I am so confused now.

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One Hit Wonder

The shadow moved over the party slowly as the giant creature moved with the wind above them. It resembled a giant tick floating in the air. Bauks, Nasier, and Rika shot their missiles in at the beast. It continued its course.
Kitty felt a slender hand on her shoulder, and then a jolt. Her body contorted suddenly as she felt the ground become farther away. She stood over the others at a at least four times her normal height. She looked down at Creena grinning and Kurtwood shrugging at what had happened.
Wow… I’m huge. The Irda thought to herself. My tits are amazing.
It was at this moment that Necromancer was seemingly bored with the current state of affairs, and the large floating tick like fiend above them.
“Come here” she muttered to air, and as the giant insectoid blinked down to the earth in front of them facing away. She smirked to herself and nodded to her now gigantic friend.
As if on cue, the blue haired warrior lunged her enormous claymore into the creature’s back.
Several events occurred nearly simultaneously.
A burst of fire and fury came forth from the sword and ruptured the body of the insect.
It was quickly apparent that what had caused the oversized tick to fly, what a large quantity of gases inside its abdomen… flammable gases.
A vortex of flame and burning gas erupted from the animal outward.
Kitty’s eyes widened at what have might have been her undoing when she felt the small metal pony knock her out of the way.
She lay there for a moment coming to terms with what happened.
“Holy Shit. I’m awesome!” She finally shouted and danced around, as the Paladin stopped her in her tracks to heal her.

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Freaking Nature Boy
I wanted some glory too!

Ah, damn… always worrisome when Liad shows up. Apparently Nature boy compromised the eggs as the tree started growing on top of them. Something about natural order and what not.

And so, he gave us the order to extract the eggs to the “Ether” not until he expressed his disappointment at Nate and making Hammig slap him upside his head every moment he wanted. At least he was spilling out gold every single time. It was hilarious as watch.

And so we head out towards the eggs to send them out with these “devices”. Simple but nerve inducing every time we put one down. Once it was ready, we got safely away and sent them off.

I think we must have pissed off that beast or something because a giant shark beast hit the ship and we all got ready to attack the beast. …That is until a bubble appear then.. lots of blood and it died instantly. Nate acted all triumphant as he said what he did. Bastard. Took the fun out of this fight. Well… at least Rika does not have to worry about spells now. And we do not have to be in silence now. I am guessing party time?

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New Armor

My first set was my Masterwork, forged by my own hands from tough Krondorian steel to prove that I was worthy of title of Master as blacksmith and armorsmith. My new set is the combined skill of four masters, armed with a staggering combined knowledge of smithing and magic, working with finest materials available. The twisted damascus star metals create a stunning flame pattern across every surface of my armor, as befitting a servant of Kosuth.

I could not make this without the help of Zuzu, Gnorma, Buddy, and Drace. Their assistance was invaluable, and I cannot express my thanks enough.

I’m sure tune will change when I get bill, but such is life.

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Girl Talk
A Conversation between an Irda and a mage

The olive skinned woman knocked gingerly at her friend’s door, and walked into the brightly lit room. The chamber was decorated in soft pinks and plush cushions, as well as a small flower garden in pots. It was apt.
“It seems our ’osts spared no expense,” she said as she folded the skirt of her red dress around her feet as she sat down on the tufted love seat.
Her blue-skinned friend grinned widely and set down next to her her. “I like it a lot, they even gave me a growing light for the gerbers.”
“Did zey also provide glasses?” Rika asked holding up a wine bottle. “I zought we should take some time to ourzelves.”
Kitty cheerfully got up to retrieve some glasses, and sat back down. “Seriously, you didn’t bring anything stronger than wine,” she complained, now pouring generous portions into their glasses.
“Zere is a bar downstairs, but I zought vee vould like zomevat ov a clear ’ead tonight.”
“Mmmmhmmm…. So you’re seeing Drace tonight.”
“I ’ave not decided. And vat does zat ’ave to do vit anyzing?”
The Irda took a sip of her wine and just eyed her friend.
“Also you are avoiding zee converzazion at ’and, I believe zat iz ’ow zee exprezion goes.”
“We are not talking about that again Rika. I thought we were done with that.”
‘Kitty, zere iz no reason you are to be watching over me az my bodyguard anymore."
“Yes, there is.”
“Name one.”
“You are easy to hit when you’re casting."
“If all ov zee party iz working as zey should zen I vill not be in line of fire. Also you vould be more valuable in zee front lines.”
“You mean next to Drace?”
“Zat iz not vat I said.”
“You are trying to use tactics to explain why you want me to watch your boyfriend’s back.”
“Zat iz – "
“Conversation is over Rika. I am not going to stop looking after you, especially with how reckless you are in a fight.”
“Kitty.”
“Stop it before I start talking about your cute little babies.”
“Babies?!”
“Yes, the five you and Drace are going to have.”
“KItty! I mean it!”
“Four girls and a boy with your big brown eyes, and his wavy hair.”
“Vat?!”
“You love kids! You always said you wanted to be a mom.”
“Zat iz not zee point. Kitty talk seriously vor a minute.”
“You know, I bet Hammig and Brenna would go in a wager with me on this.”
Rika put her hands in her face, trying to gain some composure before continuing. This was her friend. The woman who had watched over her for so long. All she wanted was to give her the chance to not have that burden any longer. She picked up her head and brushed her long black hair out of her face. “Kitty, I just vant you to not ’ave to take care ov me any more.”
“So Hammig is probably going to bet on Drace proposing before the kids, but I think he’ll wait until after the first two. One of them will probably end up being named Sv-.”
With that the mage launched herself out of the cushions, and out the door in a tyrade. The garnet colored fabric of her dress swatted the edge of the door frame as she made her exit.
“Tell Drace I said ‘Hi’,” Kitty called out to her friend as she left. Muttering to herself “We all know what you’re up to girl,” and finished the wine while tending her potted garden.

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Kitty's Thoughts

She watched the master craftsman slice off a piece of the gargantuan gem; her cerulean eyes widened. Kitty has taken to gem cutting and jewelry making as a new hobby to occupy herself on the ship. That and Bub. She attempted to introduce herself to the towering minotaur, but he seemed distracted.
“Maybe you should try to be more coy vit ’im. Or just tell ’im you like ’im instead ov running after ’im all over ship,” was Rika’s advice.
She would attempt conversation another day. Today she was concentrating on polishing remnants of a giant fire opal. It was tedious work, but the pieces glistened when she finished. She smiled broadly at herself. Just another 20 years doing this and she might be able to work with the big ones.

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Rika's Thoughts

The medics on this ship are extremely well informed and I am excited to meet and discuss my knowledge. Kitty has made herself productive as well; jewelry making is a good craft for her. Now if only I can keep her away from the minotaur. She is likely to chase him off the ship entirely. I admit, I wish Drace would tell me what he is working on. He was conspiring with Hammig and Brenna yesterday, which makes me less anxious than some. Oh well we have still made some time in all this which has been helpful with the fights that are to come. I will be looking into what notes I can find on this ship. There is so little I know about these beings of chaos, and chaos in general.

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Made some beautiful art
but my friends are indeed dicks...

Why…? Just why Hammig and Brenna? What was the reason for asking this painting? I would expect this from Nate or even Kurtwood himself, but you two?! Ugh… needed plenty to drink as I created that “art”… if I can call it that. At least Nate gave me a nice idea (which shocked me honestly coming from him) to paint. I am glad Gnorma loved it. Wanted to keep the affection appropriate because everyone was going to see it.

I am glad I can create as much art as I can in my room. Bauks is with along with me to learn, so less time alone. Whatever. But I have been creating art from the adventures we been through. The liches castle, the gypsy wagon, our keep in Dragoforge, the nymph and her fountain (hide that one from Rika), even having everyone in a group protrait.

Now I worry if Creena wants one of herself… I need more then a strong drink to make that art for her…

…also may not charge Rika anything if she wants one… but Bauks will not be with me creating that one for sure.

Oh. Need to talk to Gnorm and Gnorma about finding some pristine Lightning Opals before I forget.

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New Armor, New Forge, New Job

What is this? I have access to a hellfire forge, and I DON’T have my friends commissioning me for new weapons and armor? About time.

After all, my own set has become long in tooth, as they say. I finished my set as my Masterwork many years and battles ago now. Even with a hole the size of my fist through the back, it is fantastic armor, and when I retire it, it will hang with honor in my smithy, a reminder of where I have come from, what I’ve been through, and who I’ve fought and bled with.

The replacement set will be an upgrade worthy of my current skills. The design will match my previous set, with shin guards, bracers, breast plate, and studded leather kilt, though my materials will be a significant improvement. Bob the Minotaur is teaching me to create braided star metal Damascus, which will be the material for every component that previously had been hand forged Krondorian steel. The leather will be… Preferably dragon or dinosaur, I’m not sure what the leather smiths I am working with actually have access to and will be willing to utilize in this project, but either one is a step above the bull hide that has served me so well.

With the inclusion of starmetal, I plan on having this set enchanted. Only definite option I have so far (after much experience) is protection (reversal?) of lightning. Maybe Psionic shielding? Maybe TECH ARMOR explosion?

Anyway with luck, I will have my set complete before we see combat again, but I have suspicion that is not happening. We are currently in employ of Gnorm and Gnorma in their new impressive submersible boat and we will hunt Leviathans.

Oh. Brenna and I also found best use of six thousand gold, EVER. Bar none. You see, she come to me with idea, and then we together go to Drace to have most regal painting of our Baronet. Best. Ever.

Ossrika was lame and not get joke, but everyone else did. Except Kurt, I don’t think he understood he was joke.

Oh well. Good times. No regrets.

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New Tribe
The Party on Tusker Island

These frozen wastes may be a lot like home for Hammig or Rika, but I miss the greens of the forests and golds of my home. Vanya too. My newest companion doesn’t have that home sickness, but considering he’s a god-born Hell Horse, gifted to me by Tempus and Oblivion in the flesh, I’m not surprised.

Yeah, and not only that, but in addition to the gods that had previously recognized me as a true Ranger despite being a halfling, I now have a LOT more! Including Tempus, Liad, Lobo, the Dick, Mistra, Messingwary… Hell, even Hammig’s god acknowledged me! …So did Creena. Which I’m not going to think about. And Osrika, which I’m kind of surprised about. I mean, I know Creena’s been across multiple worlds and had adventures and stuff before she joined up with us, so I’m sure somewhere someone believes in her, but Rika?

…I bet it’s a Sven. It HAS to be.

Guess I should back things up a bit, huh? Well, we’ve been trying to find the source of a sudden influx of leviathans in the oceans of our world, and waaaaaay down south, we find another uncharted continent, a frozen waste without a name. So of course, when something falls from the sky and crashes inland, we head off to investigate, mostly with Hammig and Drace drooling over the thought of more Star Metal.

After a few days of slow going through the harsh terrain, we are met by tough woman who takes Brenna, Warl, me, and Vanya to meet with someone on account of we’re Rangers, and our animals are trustworthy, ‘cause we’re awesome.

Turns out that someone was a god I’d never heard of called Messingwary. He’s a mighty god of Hunters, and once he had approved of our mission, we retrieved the rest of our party, had some good food, and then met the Tuskers.

We’ve met and fought some big people before, but these Tuskers are HUGE. They remind me of my home tribe a bit, but more reserved, and slower to make decisions. They did, after some questions and deliberation, let us continue on our journey to find whatever fell from the sky, and so we pressed on.

One night… Well, I’m pretty sure it was night. The sun never sets here, so it’s hard to really tell what time of day it is. Something massive landed close our camp, which turned out to be Chaos golems. Vanya and I took to the sky when we were getting ready to continue on, and it turned out the golems were making an easy path for us, pushing the heavy snow out of our way, so I directed the party over and we followed in their wake, though more slowly since we get tired and they don’t.

Anyway, we found a splatter of barely identifiable offworlders who’d run afoul of the Chaos Golems, and notified the Gods because like, everything they had was supposed to be not allowed on this world, so we got to oloot the hammers, and destroy the contraband, and then Hammig levitated into the Sky to see if he could find their home ship.

Turns out, it was pretty close, so with Rusty’s help we managed to make our way over to it. The Ogre Mam-moth was pretty abandoned, and so we explored it trying to find clues. Then Hammig started a fight with a massive hook-handed orc, and then spent most of that fight hanging off the hook until the guy died, which was fun. Once the ship had been cleared and explored, we freed the slaves, called on the Gods AGAIN because there was a LOT of contraband AND a soulforge, and then Hammig got to use the Pocket Full of Sunshine that Creena gave him to destroy all of the contraband.

Crazy bastard.

Anyway, the slaves now had a grounded ship fortress as a museum or conservatory or whatever, and we sent the creepy healing pod thing to Olympia (after everyone who needed it had been through) so we kitted up with some new anti-Chaos gear, took two of the fancy magic sleds and got back on the path of the Golems.

And then we found a road block which turned out to be brownies. After a snowball fight and lunch, and warning that the golems explode if you kill them wrong, we got back on the road, only to fight some Snow Kobolds not too long after. That was fun! Vanya and I are getting better at fighting together.

Oh, I don’t remember when, but we did find a destroyed Tusker community, wiped out by whatever crashed to the ground. We took a few items that seemed important to pass along to the Tuskers, but I can’t remember if that was before or after the brownies.

Anyway, we eventually caught up with the Golems and found out what crashed to the ground wasn’t star metal like Hammig and Drace wanted, but a giant Leviathan egg, that the Golems (turns out there was a lot of them) were trying to crack open. So we all immediately run in and fight the golems. I took one with Vanya, easily defeating it without a scratch, while Hammig, Reeves, Brenna, and Nazeer basically couldn’t do anything without me. Anyway, they EVENTUALLY got theirs down, and so Vanya and I took to the skies again to intercept the bossman’s magic sled so I could get some order bombs so that Hammig’s sled would be less useless.

The second half of the battle went a little better. I mean, we killed the golems faster, even the one that turned into a giant stuffed racoon toy monster that Hammig set on fire, but Creena and Nazeer both got taken out of the fight. Pfft. These golems weren’t even tough, just shows how useless everyone is without me.

So anyway, long story short, we get back to the Tuskers with a heroes welcome, ‘cause we just saved their lives and everything, ’cause I’m awesome, and as part of our service to them, we got inducted into their tribe, which is one of the biggest honors I’ve had. The Tuskers are an awesome warrior tribe, and to be accepted by them like that is a point of pride that my own family now shares through my accomplishments.

My REAL family, not my worthless dad or my half-sister.

Anyway, that’s where I was gifted Spit Fire, which I think I owe Brenna for. I also owe Tempus a favor, so that should be fun.

I uh… Also owe Oblivion a favor… See, I kind of… In the excitement of battle and rush to save the world and everything, forgot to pick up my Klink that Gnorma gave me, until we were days of travel away and back with the Tuskers. And worse, the Gods were going to do something to the Leviathan egg that was gonna apparently wipe out everything in the area, including my Klink, so Oblivion took me on a shortcut through the Abyss to go retrieve it before all that happened.

It… The first time wasn’t so bad. Like, it was bad. I ain’t scared of ANYTHING I’ve fought or dealt with, you can’t be scared when you’re as awesome as I am. But… I was scared, okay? I’ve never been that scared, ever. I toughed it out though, and got my Klink just fine. Going back… The things I saw? I… Lost. You can laugh all you want, I’ll cut your fucking toes off in your sleep.

Apparently Liad passed out when he went on the same trip, so at least I didn’t bitch out like he did, and HE is a god, so fuck you.

I slept in the stables that night, I was not up for company.

Anyway, on our way back to our ship, we saw a HUGE 12 legged Leviathan, walking around chaos-ing up the place, so our mages and Kitty and me killed it before it could do anything or get in range for anyone else, and now we’re waiting for our boat.

That’s where we are now, anyway. OH! I need to get Hammig to make Spit Fire some fucking awesome armor, as properly fitting of the bad-ass hell horse that he is, because he’s fucking awesome like Vanya and me.

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