So, I am pleasently buzzed, and here to explain what happeneds. Firstoffs, vwee are travelings by barge back to the coast to be meetings ups vwith the Dwarfman and Lobo’s fleet. Hunfortunately, this has requirings us to be on zjee boats. I have not likings boats. Hanyways, there is some tacticings, and is getting lates, but we decide hwee are better offs beings in town iff we get attacked, and so we press on to zjee twilights, when we notice smoke and flames up ahead.
This feels my heart with joyous and warmth, but it turns out is bad thing as the port we were planning to rest in is leetle beet on fires. It wasn’t me, but two dragons circling above. Nate tried doings omething, but I think zat djust peesed them offs, and so they start circling tovard us trying to figure out what we are. They not seeings very good, so they try breathing fire, but I don’t want them to see, so I say, “Bitches, no.” and snaping my fingers and put out there flames.
This makes them veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery angry. In the name of my god, I stand upon the most inflammable cargo on the highly inflammable boat, and I challenge these evil stupid flying lizards that think they know what fire is to come get me and my hammer, and they take the challenge because they are big and dumb, and I ham drunk. Not during fight, only now. Dragons… Right!, killings them. Except, want to know secret? Come closer, Hi tells you…
STUPID FUCKING ELF KEELS THEM INSTEAD. Stupid helf, and stupid Nate, steal my righteous kills because the stupid fuckings dragons knocked over into the beer instead of fighting me like monsters.
Hanyways, happarently they were zombies or something too? а ну чики брики… Anyway, I turn off fire in town, and next day we are fixings and improvings of crane for dock and now are under employ of Dwarfman hand Lobo.
I might be a leetledrunk. Hai am not leetle, for record. I am very big man of hammerings things. ANOTHER ROUND.